


Unvanilla

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Dom Hux, sub Kylo [36]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 13:12:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10617603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Kylo has wanted this for a long time. He just hasn't known what it *means*.





	

Kylo had known his interests are beyond what the holonet terms ‘vanilla’ for some time. Way before he’d lost his virginity, he’d touched himself to stories he told himself. Little snatches of fantasies, and later he’d found his body reacting to non-sexualised sequences in holos. He’d see the ‘hero’ pinned to the wall with a vibroblade to his throat, and feel the stirring in his lap. He’d watch them scream during torture, or chained and bound and store the images away for later.

For long years he’d thought that meant he was just plain disgusting. Who got off to thoughts of being nearly murdered? Who saw the ‘good guy’ being whipped bloody, and wished the scene would go on and on? Why was his body so fucked up? 

He’d kept it to himself, until one day he stumbled by accident upon a darker part of the ‘net. There, he’d found people _did this_. Like. Really did it. Not to the point of actually nearly-murdering, but they definitely used pain, restraint, psychological control and humiliation. He’d lain on his bed, shaking, feeling…

Feeling… if not normal, then at least not alone. 

(And he’d jerked himself raw at the freely-offered images. Leathers, latex, metal, blade, blood, flame. It had been an interesting week of self-discovery, and finding words for things he’d never known anyone else could ever want.)

Those lusts had been private. A few playful love-bites, or hands slammed into the bed. A little tough-talking, but it had never amounted to anything much. Just because _other_ people did it, it didn’t mean his bedmates would want to.

But he must have given it away, somehow. Maybe a moan too loud, or begging for the kisses to bruise. Maybe the way his eyes darkened if his lover pushed a knee between his, and maybe the way a violent holo would have him more horny than it should.

Hux had asked. Kylo had agreed.

He was sure he wouldn’t need the safeword Hux insisted upon, but he picked it, anyway. “You’ll know.”

“Kylo…”  


“You’ll _know_.” He was determined not to say it, so if he did, it would be a matter of last resort, anyway. He would never say _that_ name unless he absolutely had to, and that was just what he needed. Enough of a get-out clause for Hux to agree to this, and he could continue.  


Nothing intricate, not the first time. Binders linking his wrists above his head, bent over the edge of the bed. Feet lashed out to the legs, the stretch not really uncomfortable. Hux _insisted_ on going slowly, even though Kylo was sure he could take more. 

But if it meant he got something, then he’d wait. He’d try to be patient, and let Hux get the confidence he needed. Sure. 

The vibroblade was dull, he was sure. Hux wouldn’t risk a real injury, but the concept of it was enough to get Kylo hard at the first buzz, and he’d felt his eyes water as his hair was pulled like a lever, bending his head back and offering his throat. So, so good. The filthy ‘insults’ just got him even closer, and he was sure he was leaking without a single touch to his ass, balls, or dick. 

Hux worked his body like a maestro, so skillfully that Kylo swallowed down a lump of jealousy that he might have done it before. The flogger kissed and bit him in equal measure, thudding his heart to pound harder and harder, the pain of it as bright as the pleasure in his mind. 

Once he’d gotten almost there - almost to where he knew it would peak, and then he’d fall - Hux picked up the paddle, and started to swat his upper thighs and ass. Gone were the broken-paced blows, ratcheting him higher. Now it was just one long wall of ache, and he cried out loudly in satisfaction and only a little fear. _Filthy. Disgusting. Needing this. Needing punishment. You know you’re wrong, and that’s why you need me to beat you. You pervert_.

He did. He did know, and the shame of it was what made him climax as the slick toy pushed into his hole, vibrating and jabbing at his prostate. He’d never come so fucking fast in his life, and he was shocked. Shocked, and gratified that it meant the pain would stop, now. He’d felt the splatters of Hux’s jerked-off climax, felt them paint all over his red and stinging ass. He’d been so horny that Hux hadn’t even managed to get inside him, though at least he’d gotten off. Both of them had gotten off. 

And now he’s lying, panting, pulling air in. Filthy, and desperate. A pain slut, who needed to be put in his place. That was him, and the moments stretching out… he heard the toys put to one side. 

Would Hux just… leave him like this? Wipe his back, maybe, and then shower without him? Walk off? 

He’d never thought about that. His own forays had been self-abuse, and after, he’d cleaned up, and curled up to sleep. Sleep was the best thing to do after something as demeaning and disgusting as this. Right?

But Hux’s hands move over his back, and he feels the goop being washed off with a warm cloth. He’d brought one through. His hands keep moving, going down to stroke around his hole as the toy is pulled out, and then down to his balls and cock. The cleaning is soothing, and Kylo suddenly feels ridiculously vulnerable.

Why? Because he let Hux hurt him? Because he let Hux see he _needs_ it?

He’s not sure, but all at once, his body starts to fold in on itself, and his mind realises the pain’s gone, and it’s like those cartoons where the idiot character would run out over the cliff-edge and only fall when they looked down.

So. Far. _Down_.

He’s suddenly more afraid than he ever was before, and the sudden unclipping of his wrists and ankles is a blessing. He doesn’t know what to do, but there’s Hux, again. He settles to lie down over him, pushing him into the bed. He’s not very heavy, but the weight is… comforting. 

Suddenly Kylo is aware of how very _little_ he knows. He’d thought this would be simple, but it’s really not. 

Thankfully, Hux is kissing all over the back of his neck, whispering soft encouragement into his hair. His body is warm, and the stinging kind of doesn’t even matter, because it’s like being hugged _all over_. Kylo shudders, and then he realises he’s crying.

Fuck.

 **Fuck.** No. He’s not a pathetic wimp. It hurt, but it’s not - why can’t he stop crying? He’s stupid, and useless, and Hux slides off him, and tugs at him until Kylo is facing him. His arms wrap tightly around him, and then there’s a soft blanket over them both, and kisses that keep coming.

“You did so well. So well.”  


“I’m…” sniff, “…fucking… crying…”  


“Yes. Because you put yourself completely in my hands. You know that, don’t you? You gave me complete control over you.”  


It was just supposed to be… you know. A thrashing. Nothing more. Some excess energy worked off. Right? (No.)

“You showed me a secret part of you. You were _vulnerable_ with me. And I treasure that,” Hux says, his hands still holding, his voice still calm. “I will keep you safe.”  


Which is when Kylo really _understands_. It wasn’t… it wasn’t about how much it hurt, or how much he could take. Not really. He could hit himself, if it was. It was… it was about the other pain. The _emotional_ pain. The honesty, and the knowledge Hux wouldn’t mock him, wouldn’t hurt him. The care he’s showing, the efforts he went to, to make sure it went okay. 

Hux… Hux wanted him to let go, and Kylo didn’t. Not until now, when the tears flow and he lets Hux see the snotty, dribbly, shaking mess. The him that he’s not been in front of anyone in a _very, very_ long time. 

Kylo holds back, tightly. His tears bawl out a little longer, but when they’re gone, he feels… lighter. And when he looks up, it isn’t to a face that’s disgusted. There’s no anger, no derision. Just… love and care. He smiles.

“There we go,” Hux coos, reassuringly. “There’s my boy.”  


“You… liked it too, right?” he asks, a little nervously.  


“Liked you giving me your whole trust? _Hells_ yes.”  


The fervour in his voice makes Kylo’s heart jump, and he pushes Hux onto his back, kissing his face all over. Yes. It works. _He_ works. **They** work. This can’t possibly be wrong.


End file.
